Reality
by Hasegawa
Summary: Continuation of my one-shot titled 'Spoon'. He made up his mind; yet reality struck him straight- hard on his face. Vulnerable is the worst feeling in the world. Pairing: UK X China. Warning: AU, OoC.
1. Chapter 1

Comment: This is a continuation of some sort from my other one shot titled 'Spoon'. I suggest reading the said one shot before reading this, because it will make more sense.

Warning: OoC. AU. Real life situation.

I hope you enjoy it. This is written because many said they want to see the continuation. I am not promising happy ending.

* * *

They safely passed the immigration. China held his breath, hands sweating and he grabbed the holder of his luggage trolley's handle tight. He took a deep breath and pushed it out, to see the family he never seen since he last came back 7 years ago.

England noticed the discomfort, but all he could do was to pat China on his back. He couldn't provide more comfort, as it would just hurt China's pride and also his dignity to walk out from the airport. And so, they went out.

In the midst of people who came to fetch their loved ones/ business partners/anything else, China searched for faces he remembered from his childhood. They might have changed, yes, but China has the confident that he could recognize their faces—if his parents stayed true to their words and personally fetch him. It has been years, but since they are parents and child, bonded by blood, China knew he would know. So he searched.

England watched as his lover's face change. Initially, he could sense the delight, the hidden excitement on his lover's poker face. But as time goes by and China's head had stopped searching after 30 minutes of looking around and pushing their trolleys everywhere, England could see how China's face darkened in disappointment.

"… I think maybe they are late, Yao. Look, there are so many people, maybe they have a hard time to find parking space in the lot."

China was silent, but he nodded softly. Instead, he pointed out at one of the coffee shops available.

"I'll treat you tea, aru. It's been a long flight."

"Do you want to call them or something? I am bringing my international number; you can use it."

China looked hesitant, before nodding but insisting that they would call after two cups of tea. So they sat and bought the tea, sipped it, and England could see the pathetic attempt of China to actually hold a normal 'happy' conversation. About how he wanted to get England to know his (China's) favourite food. Or favourite hang out place he used to go. Or favourite speciality of his (China's) homeland.

And somehow, England survived through the emotional suffering from trying to hold that fragile tension to make China believed he was still OK.

After two cups of tea, and a lot of conversation, England noticed that they had been there for an hour and a half, before eventually he put his phone silently in front of China. China swallowed hard, and took the phone, slowly dialling the number he hated yet remembered too well.

China bit his lips. The phone rung.

The first ring.

The second ring.

It was like torture.

The third ring was answered by a lady's voice. China spoke in his language, and England could only guess. As China's face grew darker, England kinda knew what was happening.

"So?" England asked once China put off the phone.

China smiled bitterly. "Apparently… they forget the arrival schedule. They are just coming here. They will arrive in another 1 hour, I believe, aru."

"…Right."

"Arthur…" China never sounded so weak—but England was wrong, because apparently, going back home means China getting more vulnerable by each passing time; England didn't knew the future, but he would be getting a lot of weaker side of China—and smiled. "…I know this is ridiculous, and they said they had prepare a room for us, but. But, aru. Can we… just get a hotel room?"

"…You don't want to stay in your house?"

"It's not mine, aru." the golden eyes were wet but no tears come out. China clenched his teeth. "I think this is all a mistake. We should just go back. How about the next available flight back? I'll pay."

"No. We'll stay."

China closed his eyes, pretended he was tired, but England noticed the slight tremor of his hand.

* * *

It was pure torture for him. Why should he come back to a place where people who clearly didn't care about whether he was alive or not? He was anticipating the worst, but it was just as hard. He knew it was ridiculous. He was actually happy when searching faces among the crowds. He was hopeful, maybe the smile will greet him, somewhere from the crowds. Maybe his parents did miss him. Well, after all, they did message him first.

Waiting wasn't his forte. Looking at his sad cup of overpriced airport tea, he thought back about the conversation he had with his mother. She sounded apologetic, but cheerful, saying that she will arrive in another hour. Not even an apology. Just a half-assed sorry. It just reinforcing what doubt he had that he worth nothing in front of them. In their minds. And the thought was unbearable. Torture. Why did he ever come?

England's hand travelled across the table and grabbed his hand. China smiled softly.

Well, at least this time he had someone who actually cared… did he?

And the new doubt slipped into his mind. He hated this. He knew England was the best boyfriend ever, the one supportive enough to actually push him to reconcile with the family he thought he had lost. England was so supportive it hurts. He felt like raw meat against sea of boiling oil. He would get hurt, for sure. He had already hurt from the disappointment over a simple late fetch. But the doubt was whispering through his mind that if he looked weak now, then maybe England would leave him. Or if England saw how unimportant he was in front of his own family's eyes, England may look down upon him. Or worse yet, leave him.

"Yao!"

China turned back, to see a woman with a young adult man following her rushing to the coffee shop. China couldn't help but smiled. She was still the same—more lines, more grey hairs—but still, the same. The same image he had in his dream. She was still so pretty.

"…mother."

He stood up and smiled awkwardly when his mother came to hug him. He passively received the hug, realizing how small she had become. She used to be taller than him the last time they met. Now China was a head and neck taller than his mother.

It felt weird.

"How are you? Oh, I missed you, Yao. You look great! I am happy you can make time to come home!"

China smiled. It felt weird. He didn't expect all these warmth and cheerfulness, he was actually expecting awkwardness and coldness between them. Then he saw Japan, nodding with unreadable expression on his face, nodding to him. So China nodded back.

"Oh, we should go! And who is this gentleman, I may ask?"

China suddenly remembered that England was there, waiting for China to introduce him, so he smiled and gestured a welcome hand. "This is Arthur Kirkland, aru…"

His mother smiled warmly at England, and England put out his hand for a shake.

"…my boyfriend."

The words cut through the air, and China saw how it changed everything. His mother's face paled, and instead of receiving England's offer of a handshake, she closed her mouth with both of her hands.

"… don't tell me… you are GAY, Yao?"

China knew it. Something was bond to turn like this. He didn't tell them, yes, but why was she making it such a big deal? So he snapped.

"Yes, I am, mother, and I am proud of it."

"But… But… Yao, come on, my child…" His mother stuttered, trying to conceal her obvious disgust and shock, "this is… SIN!"

China felt like exploding.

"This is NOT a SIN, aru! He is as good as any woman out there and he was more supportive, better than my own family, far better than you!"

The woman he called mother stopped talking and was surprised at her son's sudden burst. And she smiled, but didn't return the handshake offer hanging on the air. England understood his place and took back his hand. He smiled politely.

"My name is Arthur Kirkland, Madam, nice to meet you."

China's mother smiled. England noticed how similar they looked, the mother and son. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Arthur… you are my son's _friend_, right?"

England saw how China flinched upon the label, but he smiled politely. He could do this. He couldn't get insulted because he was there for China. He couldn't get mad because if he got mad, then China would never reconcile with his own families. So he smiled. "… Yes, madam."

"Arthur!" China snapped.

England winked, signalling China that he was OK. But China was already beyond repair.

"…OK. Let's be frank aru. Why do you call me here, mother?"

"Yao?"

"I couldn't stand the way you treat my boyfriend, mother. So let's be frank here and settle our business. Then I can go and you have your peace."

"Yao! What is this? How come you are so rude to your own mother! Is this his influence?"

"NO, aru! No. This is getting ridiculous. Tell me what you want and I will be on the next plane out of here."

England knew it was the wrong thing to do, but China looked like he needed support from being too vulnerable. So he moved and hugged China from behind. "It's OK, Yao. It's OK…"

China was thankful from the gesture, but he could see clearly how his mother and Japan were watching them. They were judging them. And he couldn't take it. But he needed to, otherwise England's good will would be futile.

"Fine. I … I am sorry, mother. It's just a long flight and… well, if you don't want us on your house, we can get a hotel room by ourselves aru."

His mother looked troubled for a minute, but she nodded eventually.

China knew that was a mistake. That wasn't his home, that wasn't his country, that wasn't his family. He didn't have family since the start. Why was he so keen in keeping those false hopes? Stupid.

Stupid.

But he was thankful he wasn't alone. England's hands on his waist felt so good.

* * *

So they went for lunch. China felt suffocated on the car, which was silent apart from the music from the radio. The AC was blazing, and it was cold despite the warm weather outside.

He was seated at the back with England, while Japan was driving and his mother took the seat beside the driver. And his mother turned back, smiling.

"..So how is your life, Yao? I have heard that you are doing good."

_From who?_ China wanted to ask. Because he never told anything to them. But he smiled.

"I am good, mother. It was good."

"…So what subject did you chose for your major, Yao?"

England flinched. He didn't realize that the relationship between China and his families were so stretched until his own mother didn't know what her own son was doing as a major. Somehow he understood China now; the question is, _do they really care?_

"I am doing bachelors on accounting and arts, aru."

"Oh." His mother smiled. "That is good. Kiku is doing art as well, right Kiku?"

Japan nodded, but he showed no sign of wanting to be included into the conversation.

"So… What do you want to eat Yao? Do you have our food in that country?"

"We have. I have nothing particular, aru. I'll follow whenever you take me."

Silent. It was like his mother was waiting for him to talk and China was waiting his mother to talk.

"So… Of course! We can go back to the Chinese restaurant… still remember Yao?"

_Of course he remembered everything. It haunted his dreams. _

"Thanks." China whispered as he felt England's hand enveloped his. "Yes, sure, mother." He added, to answer his mother's question.

"Err… we are going now to the hotel, and after you put your luggage there, we'll meet your dad."

"… How is he doing?" China asked, carefully. They haven't talk about the father yet.

"That's actually the reason I called you, Yao…" his mother suddenly spoke gravely. "He… He got kidney failure, and he… he was asking you to donate yours."

China stopped breathing, couldn't believe what his mother was saying. England grabbed his lover's hand tighter.

"…It's not like that, Yao…" his mother continued. "It's just some test, and we don't know whether you are compatible or not, but you are our best chance. And it's… it's not like I called you here because of just that. I do, really, I do miss you, Yao."

But the word was lost to China as blocked everything away, immersing himself in his mind. Even England couldn't get him. And no matter how his mother talked, trying to engage him in more conversation, or heck, even apologizing for telling the surprise without warning, China was lost and he couldn't listen to anything.

For him, everything was clear. He was not there because his parents miss him. He was there as an emergency organ provider.

* * *

"Yao…"

China snapped back into reality. He looked around, realizing that he was seated on a fluffy single bed in the middle of a high class hotel room. There were 2 single bed, which Yao sat on one of them. It took away his mind from his current emotional hurricane.

"Why two beds, aru?"

"Well, I believe it's not wise to stay on one bed with your mother's… well, reaction, Yao."

"… Why don't we just hop on the next flight back, aru? Don't be bother to unpack, Arthur."

"Yao…"

"Really, I am fine. Let's go back. I'll pay for it, aru."

"Yao…"

"Where is the phone? I need to book it… and taxi? Oh, of course, where was that mother of mine? Is she gone?"

"She said she is going home first, but she will meet us soon with the whole family and fetch us to the hospital."

"Let's go before she comes back, aru." China stood, up and tall, smiling brightly. "Let's get a taxi."

"Yao…"

"Stop Yao-ing me. I am fine and I am alright. Let's just go home! I still have some money and well since it's our break, what about going some other countries? What do you think about Taiwan? Sounds good, right?"

"Yao…"

"Stop. You don't get it. Why should I stay just to be a fucking organ donor, aru? Why should I… go with their selfishness like this, aru? Why should I be desperate enough to surrender my kidney just to make them say, 'hey, thank you, Yao, I just remember you are my son!'? Isn't it ridiculous, aru? I don't care about any of this. They are not my family… and they even looked down upon you!"

"Yao, you are still angry. Please calm down and we can think about what we should do later."

"I am angry, aru! Very much so! Who they think they are, aru? Looking down upon you? You, you are better than them, aru. They might be labelled my family but you are more important, way more important to me than them. I cannot believe my own mother called us sin! For all I know, I have forgotten how to call her 'mother'! Fuck this, aru. We are going home!"

England didn't answer and dropped his shoulder. China got the gesture and his worse fear returned. He had confessed how important England was to him. And England felt disgusted. China thought England was angry.

"I… I am sorry, aru. If … if you want to stay, we can, aru. Don't be angry… OK?"

"I am not angry, Yao." England sighed. He opened his luggage to get their change of clothes. "It's just I need you to stop saying we are going home. We are here and we need to settle this. I am too tired to quarrel with you, Yao."

"I am sorry. I'll… I think I'll…"

"Yao, come here." England spread his arms. "Come here."

China meekly followed this time, and England realized how fragile, vulnerable China has been ever since they reached the land. Heck, even since they were in the airport back home. China held his breath. The scent was familiar, the chest was warm, but he couldn't feel good as usual. He felt too exposed and he had said it clearly, that England was more important. China couldn't stand it. Everything hit him too fast. He was unimportant, even in his families' eyes. So he didn't want to make England think that he was unimportant. China was scared. He was breaking down.

"Fuck me, aru."

He needed to remind England that he actually good at something. Anything.

"Yao?"

"I'll do a mind blowing blow job for you, OK?" China smiled trying to be cheerful. "Come on, I'll even service you all night, aru. Sit down."

"Yao, stop! I am tired; you are tired, why with the sudden thing?"

"Come on, Arthur. We have bed, and we have the whole room to ourselves, aru…"

"Your family will be coming any time soon, Yao! We need to prepare!"

"Forget them, aru. They can see whatever they want to see, aru. Fuck me, Arthur. I swear I can make you feel so good."

"… Don't try to run, Yao. Your problem wouldn't be gone when you run like this. Look at me." England held China's arms tight. China looked up and green eyes stabbed through him. "You cannot run. Listen what they have to say and then you say what you want to say. Hang on there."

China bit his lips. "… Fine, aru. Sorry."

England sighed. Their forehead met.

"Listen, Yao. It's not like I don't want to make love to you. I do want it so much, and I know it can soothe you. But not now. What you need now is to be strong enough to face what you have been delaying for years. I know this is hard. I can see why you don't like to talk, or think about them, or come back here. But we are here. We need to do this, so you can settle yourself down. I can only be supportive, but you need to face it by your own. And I refuse to 'fuck' you, because I don't do 'fuck'. I make _love_."

China flinched.

"See? Whenever I mentioned love you tried to run. Just like what you do when you face your family. So this is my proposition, you deal with this whole thing, settle things down, and then I will receive whatever left on you and we will be happy together. You don't need to be afraid that I'll leave you. I promise, and I know, you are the love of my life and I wouldn't give you up unnecessarily. I only know one thing; if you keep running from your family like this, you can never receive my feelings fully, Yao."

"…Not even an emergency mercy fuck, aru?"

China looked so pitiful and lost. But England shook his head. "No. Not now. But we'll settle for this."

And by that, their lips met. Slow and soft, nice and gentle. Supportive, not desire.

China closed his eyes.

"You know how to pamper me, aru."

England chuckled.

* * *

I am not sure whether I should continue or not.

review?


	2. Chapter 2

Presented for people who would read load of my crap. I am being sarcastic bitch here. I dont expect live to be good but hey, it's too hard sometimes, you see.

ENJOY~

* * *

They were called down to the lobby by China's mother. And so, he met his step siblings for the first time in seven years. China kept his silent through out the awkward moment. The older of the Korean sibling couldn't make it, but the rest was there.

"It is unfortunate that the visiting hours were over, Yao." China's mother smiled as she grabbed China's hand softly. "But we can have a dinner together and then we can meet your father tomorrow."

China nodded, watching as the whole family gathered together. His stepmother smiled at him, saying all those polite greetings while his step father smiled, kinda hiding behind China's mother. China nodded to them. The family would look awkward even from stranger's point of view. Meanwhile, England kept his distance from China as far as he could to not make China's mother upset, and as near as he could to not make China upset. He set on a distance of 1 meter behind China, smiling and handshaking the member of the family China never told him about. China never told him that he had that many step siblings. He wondered when he handshake a teenage girl, whom battled eyelashes made England felt embarrassed. He knew that the girl was trying to get him.

"Hi. My name is Mei*" the girl smiled. England nodded and smiled back, politely.

"This is my brother Kaoru; and I think you have known my older brother Kiku."

England nodded again. He knew he shouldn't do this in front of China, but having at least one person from China's family warming up against him felt good. England was a sensitive guy; being born and raised in England most of his life had made him as sensitive as Asian about manner and hidden emotions between expressions. He knew the little girl was trying to seduce him; and he knew he didn't feel anything because although he wasn't gay since the first day he was born, he suspected he had tendencies to swing that way. It needs big boobs and beautiful face to actually pull him from China (whose beauty was not easy to match) and a mere teenage girl with fake diamond eyelashes and blushers wouldn't move him at all. But; and there was a but; he still wanted to be remembered as a good guy if something ever happen.

Something like, for example, China exploded and cut off the ties with his family entirely. England wasn't sure he wanted to take the bad guy position there. But if the circumstances made him to, he would. All for his lover. Yet, he still could hope for the best and he would be glad to impose a good impression on his future in-law family (or families).

So he toyed along when the little girl took his hand to their cars—and they were separated. China was taken into another Mercedes where his mother and her family sat on, and England was taken (like a hostage) to the BMW which owned by China's stepmother and her children.

Throughout the journey (pure, pure torture**) England acted as much as he could like a gentleman. He smiled and answered their questions properly, and digging information as he go. He just found out that actually China's family wasn't that bad. In fact, they were actually quite well off. It appeared that China's father was the head director for a popular development company in that nation, while China's mother was actually a nation-wide renowned dermatologist (and Taiwan added on the gossips about how her clients were all celebrities). Meanwhile, the stepmother was his father's favourite secretary and China's stepfather was his mother's favourite nurse (the information was whispered into his ear as the teenage girl was trying hard to catch his attention by whispering 'secret's).

England now knew why China was so smart yet so charismatic. He remembered how he was mesmerized the first time they met. It was the art lecture; language. It was an elective for England, that's why he looked down upon the subject. And when he saw an Asian beauty walking to the front of the hall to give a presentation, he expected nothing much from an international student. They always talked heavily accented and while some might sound good, Asian students never failed to sound good enough for his ear (Yes, England was an arrogant man). So when China's voice resonated through the hall, England was forced to hold his breath.

That was the perfect. The sound, the accent (almost non-existent, except for some occasional aru's'), the content, the charm. Everything was perfect.

Since then England followed China. Asking around to find out that China was famous as the campus (man) whore—the guy pretty enough to make even the straightest guy in campus slipped under the cover with him. But no-one stayed long. Every single week, no, even every two days, England saw China walking beside different men. No, Not actually. China wasn't walking beside the men; they were walking beside him, trying to get his attention.

It's not like China was gay too. He was famous as a bi—he kissed a very pretty girl in front of the library main hallway, a show for everybody's delight; and he had a string of pretty girls name on his relationship history chart. But England didn't want to be one of them—those used up for one night only partner—and aimed straight at the head.

He literally smacked China's head with a bunch of roses.

"_What the fuck, aru!"_ was the first line China ever spoke to him.

_"I am challenging you—go out with me." _

_"Are you crazy?" _China, clearly annoyed and pissed, threw the bunch of flowers to the ground. _"Smacking my face with roses will get you a date? Keep on dreaming, moron!" _

_"I am not moron. Arthur. Arthur Kirkland. I am in your art lecture. Wa..wait! Listen! Hey, Yao Wang, I think you are interesting. I want to challenge you."_

_"Challenge what, aru? Shut up. I am late for my work."_

_"I heard that you will do anything for money."_

_"I will, but not with you. You have lost your chance the second you hit me with those, aru!"_

_"Come to the uni café this evening. My treat. I will tell you the challenge." _

_"Say it now. I have work aru."_

_"People are looking."_ England smiled as he spread his arms around. True enough, people were staring at them, like a kind of show. It was interesting of course, the campus whore versus the campus gentleman. _"And I want to be private."_

_"I don't have time."_

_"When are you free?"_

_"I am not free unless you can pay me more than 50 bucks an hour aru." _China looked at his watch. _"So scram."_

Of course, unknown to China, England could afford to give him 500 dollars per hour. And thus, the date was set.

There goes their first date. And first night. And then second date. Second night. Third date. First fight. First make up sex. Fourth date. Twentieth rounds of mind blowing bed session. And so on. As the time passed, they got more comfortable with each other. Their 'friend with benefits' label was changed into 'dating'. They wticked to one another. Slowly, even China's label as a campus whore disappeared. And now, they were an inch away from 'moving together'.

England stopped reminiscing the past when he saw the Chinese-style building. Maybe he got the chance to really understand China that night because apparently, the Chinese restaurant was the starting point of everything.

* * *

It was a decent medium class Chinese restaurant, filled with the smell of good Chinese yum cha variety and families. England followed as Taiwan dragged his hand across the room, to a secluded room behind the Chinese styled-room divider.

China suddenly appeared beside him, taking his hand and pulling him away from Taiwan. "… You like Chinese food, right Arthur?"

England smiled. "Yes."

"But I didn't know you like Chinese girl, aru. Or my step sister, in that matter."

England couldn't believe his ear. He grinned from ear to ear. "Are you jealous?"

China blushed. "No way, aru. It's just… well, felt weird looking you like a paedophile trying to pry on a girl way younger than your own age. It's inappropriate, aru."

England couldn't help but grin and felt happy for the first time in the day. "Hey." He whispered softly on China's ear. "I want you tonight. The best Chinese cuisine."

China blushed even redder. "Shut up, aru."

"Please sit over here." Suddenly China's mother was beside them, showing two chairs by the side of a round table. "You can sit beside this gentleman and show him the food, right, Yao?"

China nodded. England stopped grinning as he saw the stern face China's mother was having on her face.

The dinner went fine. England noticed that the families were not so close with each other, and he felt pressured to find new topics every time the conversation ceased to continue. And he saw how China silently watched as the round moving plate swirled. He saw how everybody was busy trying to be calm and composed, when what they wanted was to run away from the table. It was so tense.

England saw how China refused to be the main topic of any conversation, shutting himself further and further. England helped him by answering most of the question (though with some difficulty—although everybody around the table could hold a decent English language conversation, most of them didn't get England's sense of joke), and the conversation grew into how they wanted to go to China's place once all his step siblings have their holidays. China smiled, saying that his place was small and insignificant, and they all laughed as China's 'modesty'. England noticed how China tried desperately to make them forgot the plan to 'visit' him.

The food came, and everybody was busy for a while. Silent overcome them for a while, everybody busy choosing their own food. England received a generous amount of food on his plate, shoved by Taiwan. He tried to stop the girl's generosity to no avail, and the food piled on his small plate like a mountain. Meanwhile, China watched as his plate was filled by his mother.

"Do you remember, Yao? You love the dumplings so much."

China smiled weakly. It wasn't him who loved the dumpling; it was her. But he kept his silent and watched as a piece of dumpling landed on his plate. His mother smiled.

"You should eat a lot! It's been so long since you've eaten here!"

China nodded. England watched as China ate the piece of dumpling. Without even thinking, England took a piece of chicken feet from his (mountain!) pile of food and put it on top of China's plate.

China seemed surprised from the gesture, but he smiled gently as England filled his plate with many other food—boiled prawn dumpling, cha siu bao, congee, lou ma gai, etc.—and scowled playfully.

"Stop it, aru! My plate is full!"

"Never too full. You need to try everything, Yao." England smirked. "I won't let your plate empty tonight."

China stopped smiling. He slowly moved his hand under the table, and squeezed England's thigh gently. "Thank you."

His lover smiled, while trying to control his chopstick—it seemed like England wasn't born to use chopstick at all. Unbeknown to them, China's mother watched the whole scene in silent.

* * *

"I am really full."

"You need to move a bit, aru! Otherwise you will get fat from eating those food! I couldn't believe you finished those piles of food!"

"She kept giving me those, I couldn't refuse her." England moaned, patting his bulging stomach. He was lying on top of the bed, while China made some hot water for some cups of tea. "She was flirting with me."

"… So, Mr. Popular now, are we?" China hissed.

England chuckled. "I am always popular, Yao. Don't you remember how many women tried to break us up this year?"

"…You are such a bad playboy. Just as bad as Francis, aru."

"He? Pardon me, but he is a frog. I am way better than that French. I thought you should be very clear about that."

China went to the bathroom. "You should see yourself in the mirror sometimes, aru! Oh, I will use the bathroom first, so please help me to make the tea when the water's done!"

The bathroom door was closed. England closed his eyes. It wasn't bad. China seemed to be pretty cheerful now, and his sarcasm has returned. China didn't look sad anymore. It was good.

"I never thought you are a rich, Yao. I thought since you seemed to need money so much, you come from a, well, lower class family."

"Don't judge the book by the cover, aru! Anyway, I did pay everything by myself, so I need all the money I can get, aru!"

"Oh yes… I forgot about your independent obsession. Ya~o! I want to use the toilet too! Are you done?"

"Not yet! Give me a moment!"

England patted his own stomach, trying to keep his urge in control. "We should get a room with two toilets, not beds. By the way, I never know your parents are a doctor and a director, Yao."

"Who told you that? That's the worst combination, aru!" China shouted from the bathroom. "They was so busy and never at home! They were married to their works!"

"Maybe that's why they were having affair with their secretary and nurse. Talk about easy access." England sighed. "I can imagine why people say proximity is what love is all about. It's good you are moving in with me now…"

"… Secretary? Nurses? What do you mean, aru?"

England stopped thinking. He just realized he had accidentally, innocently dropped another bomb. "… No. Nothing, Yao."

"Tell me, aru." China shouted from the bathroom. "So you are saying they have an affair even before the divorce?"

"…"

"Who told you?"

"Your sister."

"You mean, my _step_-sister, aru." China scowled and then silence overcame them. "You are so comfy with her, huh? Until she told you these…"

England bit his lips. "Yao…?"

No answer. China shut himself in the bathroom until England gave up and went to the hotel's lobby bathroom to relieve his urge. And even when he returned back from the lobby, China was still inside the bathroom. England knocked the door softly. It was locked from inside.

"Yao? … Are you OK?"

"…I am fine, aru." China answered. "It's just… It's… Well, I get stomach-ache. You can go to sleep first, aru."

"You really OK? Want to talk?"

"Nothing to talk about. You should rest, aru. I am fine."

In the end England spent his night alone on the single bed. It felt weird because he was used to sleep with China in his arms. But apparently, China didn't come out from the bathroom until morning.

* * *

China stopped in front of the hospital room door. His mother walked in front of China and England, showing the room. It was only them that day, since the other family members were busy with their own daily businesses.

"Your father wants to see you, Yao. We missed you so much." His mother's hand was on his, grabbing China's cold hand. China flinched.

_Did you?_ China looked away, holding his breath. _Did you, really? _

He felt bad for always questioning his own mother's words, but he couldn't help it. It came from experience and memories. And his mother's touch made him felt disgusted. After the sudden fact from England the night before, China started to understand why things happen they way it happened. And he just realized his mistake.

He thought they were divorced because of the quarrels. But the truth was, they separated because each has an _affair_.

_They don't even love each other anymore. Of course they wouldn't even think to care about China._

China opened the door to see a man, in his fifties, lying down weakly on the bed. it was the first class room; with the bed occupying the middle of the room, two nice beige sofa on the side, a table with nice flower in a vase on it, and a 24 inch flat TV on the wall showing news.

"…Father."

"Yao."

The man was smiling at him, but it was clear that dialysis done nothing good on him. He looked so much weaker than what China remembered, and those hands, whose hands he used to love because they were big and strong and always held him in weekends, has wilted into bone covered with skin.

China walked towards the bed. His father was smiling.

"How… is life, my …son?"

"I am fine, aru." China nodded. "Life is good."

"Good…" His father smiled weakly between his laboured breaths. "I always regretted for… never coming to your graduation… Thinking I can do it once… you finish uni… well. Now I cannot leave this room… Funny, huh?"

China looked away, searching for England. But England was standing by the door frame, furthest from where China was standing. China immediately understood he couldn't turn to England to get support, so he looked forward. And watched how his father has become so frail. How his mother has become so small. How they were in front of him, smiling and looking good together. They looked like the perfect couple. China used to be proud having them as his parent. But they didn't love each other anymore. Maybe even from the start. So maybe he was a sad case. Maybe China being born was a mistake. And now they were gone, frail, small, and they were looking straight at China, their only son, the mistake which turned to be the only possible salvation.

And so he made his decision.

"…It's Ok. Graduations are boring and unimportant, aru."

"Do you… have a wife-to-be… in mind?"

"…I do, aru."

"You need to… introduce her … to me sometime, before…"

"You don't need to wait. He is here, aru. Father, this is Arthur Kirkland, my _partner_."

England was surprised when China walked towards him, pulled his hand, and walked together to the bedside. China's mother twitched in discomfort, but his father was smiling.

"I knew it… You are afraid of woman because of our divorce… right?"

"No. I had girlfriends, aru. It's just… he was the only one who stayed with me by the end of the day. _Unlike you_. Or _mother_."

His father frowned. "I don't like the way you…. Put it. It's not like that, son…"

"Stop pretending to be my father and trying to make me offering my kidney, aru. You and I know what's happening here. You might just as well offer your money for my kidney, aru."

China's biological parents looked embarrassed and sad; both looking at each other for help. England could feel that China's hand was shaking. But his voice was as clear as ever, resonating through the room.

"Tell me, aru. Am I right that I am called here just to provide you a kidney? Or do you really… did miss me, aru?"

Everybody could tell how China felt hurt by his own wording. His mother opened her mouth, but China stopped her.

"No. Listen to me. You never listen to me, ever since I was small, aru. And it was my fault too, for never tells you what I felt. I am silent, thinking that it's Ok, being alone in the house in weekdays because in weekends you will be home and played with me. In weekends, I am Ok with being alone, thinking that at least, at least we will have the Sunday night dinner together in the Chinese restaurant. And I am fine, being silent in the Chinese restaurant, because although you are always fighting with each other, at least you were both there, and both of you gave me piles of food on my plate aru.

"I am fine with the divorce. I am fine with new families. But I am not fine with the dinner. Because you bring something else into the only thing that I looked forward in a week. Because it destroyed my only good memory of you. Because my plate stayed empty until the end. I was… disappointed. Jealous. Why you look so happy and peaceful when we were sitting with foreign families with foreign children, while I am hungry and alone and my plate was empty, even though I was… I was you two's only son? …Was I even your son?"

"Yao… we never realized we hurt…" His mother started to cry, but China ignored her.

"I didn't know they were your affairs back then. But now everything makes sense. You were relieved when I said I want to get out of the country, right? You were happy because then you don't need to fight over my custody. Because frankly, I am an ugly remainder of what a rotten marriage you two had. So I know my place, I disappeared. And don't tell me it's not true, because even a stranger can tell how suspicious it was to have an 11 years old boy working in Mc D***. An eight years old boy sat, waiting for a nonexistent letter in front of boarding house. A seventeen years old boy who skipped grades and getting scholarship, yet with nobody to share the joy with when he was chosen as the best student of the year in his graduation. They thought I was an orphan of some sort, aru. Maybe they were right, because I don't have parent who would _care_, aru.

"You never care, you just wanted to give me money, to cover your guilt, or maybe I am wrong, since you just want your face, but all these years… you never really tried to contact me, so neither I did, aru. I understand that I am a mistake. But I have made it all up with my early independency. And now… asking me to give you my kidney… don't you feel ashamed of yourself, aru?"

"…My son…"

"Are you sure I am your son? You were never there and I never remember having any kind of help from you since I went away, aru. I didn't use your money, I didn't use your name, I don't use your influence. I am what I am now because of me alone. And now… you call me your son when it's convenient for you? Isn't it a bit too cruel? What do you think I am?"

"Yao…"

"I am here because he made me, aru. Arthur is everything I have, the only one who will love me, aru. So you don't get to call him sin, mother. You don't get to judge my choice, father. You don't have the right to see me as a son. Not anymore."

China's tears started to fall. He turned back, burying himself inside England's chest, clutching tight. "I am finished. Bring me out, Arthur. Take me out aru. Please. I don't want to be here."

"Yao…" His father's voice was hesitant. "I never know, and we …never thought… Do you want to come back? Is that money what you want?"

That was it.

"NOW! ARTHUR, GET ME OUT FROM HERE!"

England nodded and carried the sobbing man out. China sobbed, surrendering his whole to England to guide him. He was breaking into pieces. All the emotions he had buried in his memories flooded out. It felt so painful that China couldn't help but sobbing like a child who was lost in the mall and realized nobody was searching for him.

England guided them to the empty corner of the corridor and sat on the sofa with China on his lap. The sofa was cold, but China wasn't cold because England's lap and arms gave him so much warmth he needed. His sobbed hasn't stop and yet to stop. It was a lifetime worth of crying, and China didn't have the will to stop.

"You did good, Yao." England whispered. "You did good." He gently patted the Asian who was sobbing hard against his blazer.

"You did good."

"…"

"Do you want to go home now?"

To England's surprise, China shook his head.

"…You want to stay?"

China nodded, despite the continuous sobbing. England nodded softly.

"All right."

"Bring …hhh… me… to the… lab…hhh… aru."

"What lab, Yao?"

"To… test… whether I am…hhh… compatible… with… kidney… transplant, aru…"

England clutched the distressed beauty tighter. "Why…? You don't need to—I think you had made your point clear, Yao. You don't need to do it, sacrificing yourself anymore, Yao."

"He… is still my father." China sobbed. "I want to show… that a mistake like me… can be useful, aru. I want.. hhh… him to ….live."

And China sobbed again, continuing his rush of emotion, channelling all the emotions to sobs. England sighed softly. "… You did good, Yao. It's all fine now."

* * *

* = Mei is name for Taiwan in most of the ff I know.

**= I am liking the word torture. I typed it over and over again.

****= Mc. Donald. Dont sue me.

If you read this, and think it's a crap, please tell me to my face. I can handle a pussy fight here. but for others who kindheartedly think this is good, please review so. I would be very happy to have a boost of serotonin in the middle of my mid life crisis.


	3. Chapter 3

England gently moved from under the blanket. Beside him China was crouching, sleeping, blissfully unaware of the world. It was a given since he cried his eyes off the night before, until his eyes were red and swollen and all dried up, until England needed to buy eye drop for him.

But apparently England's gentle movement made China awake from his slumber; without opening his eyes.

"Arthur… where are you going…?"

"I am going to get breakfast." England smiled and kissed China's temple. "I'll get them to bring yours here."

Although he had difficulties to open his eyes, China's stubborn nature refused the chance to be spoiled. "N..No. I can go down aru…"

"Sssh. It's fine. You need to rest, after all what happened yesterday. I will return soon."

China nodded weakly before sunk back onto the pillow. England chuckled. He made sure he was presentable enough before coming out from the room. His heart was racing, a bit. Since he received a silent email from China's mother.

_Hi, this is Yao's mother. I know this is early, but can we have a talk for a minute? Please don't let Yao know. Thank you. _

England looked at his image on the elevator mirror. He looked OK. With the suit pants and a bit dishevelled shirt. And a bit of bed hair. And a bit of swollen lips (from kissing crying China to sleep the night before).

Well. All in all, he looked presentable.

So he held his breath and went to the hotel's café. He needed not to search much, for his attention was already naturally trained to search for China's silhouette in a room, and there she was, an older version of China, sitting alone in the middle table with a cup of coffee in front of her. She looked elegantly nice in the picture, just like the business woman from French painting. Wondered why China wasn't a woman, England sighed.

"Good morning."

The woman was surprised and smiled back. "Good morning, Mr. Kirkland. Please have a seat."

England smiled and sat down in front of the lady. He didn't offer a handshake because he believed that the lady has some kind of homo phobia and England sure that the fact he came and stayed in one room with China has made him labelled 'homo' on her mind.

"Thank you for coming." The woman smiled, "What do you want to drink?"

"I am fine with a cup of English Breakfast tea, please."

The woman smiled and asked the waiter to provide them with a cup of English Breakfast Tea. England noticed that China's native language is indeed, a hard one to understand. But it sounded like songs. They have notes and flows that if herd with closed eyes, felt like some sort of melody. Not always happy ones, of course. But one can pretty much guess from the melody what was actually being spoken.

The lady finished her order and turned to England. She smiled; her smile identical with China's.

"I see that Yao take over you, Ma'am."

"I think so too." She smiled, bitterness sipped out from her moving lips. "I just realized it when I saw Yao again two days ago—he looks just like me. What did I miss?"

"… I believe you do miss a lot."

The lady's smile turned into a hidden grimace between botoxed skin.

"I believe you know why I ask you down without telling my son. This is quite awkward, but I feel the need to explain. I will be straight here, Mr. Kirkland—I mean, Mr. Arthur. You think we abandoned him since he was small. You think we are a set of bad parents. I cannot say otherwise. We were the worst parents as it was—we neglected him, we quarrelled in front of him, we didn't took notice of him, not enough to understand what he was actually feeling. We left him in despair, believing we didn't care about him anymore."

England nodded softly, trying to stay attentive to the woman. The woman, noticing the effort, smiled gratefully.

"But he was a quiet child; although now I know we were the one who forced him to turn out that way; yet we used to believe that he was a fast-matured child. He knew his manner and never complained; so we never really took notice. We believe him, trust him completely, and since it was his own decision to go study overseas, we could only support him as much. We were proud, really, because he said he wanted to achieve independency faster—but it felt sad when he actually refused our offer of paying his living and study costs. Yao can be quite stubborn sometimes, and he seldom contacted us; he even made a point of being busy all the time and expected us to cut down the phone calls."

"Yesterday… when he said all the things he never told us, I—we felt genuinely surprised. Now that everything is clear, his behaviour makes sense. I didn't know we cornered him until this far—I feel like a failure mother figure. And now… I feel it is quite a surprise to find he had chosen you."

Feeling a bit threatened, England cleared his throat.

"… I am sorry to interrupt. But from my point of view, your trust on Yao had turned him into a bitter man. I don't meant to be rude, but it took me months to make him believe that I care about him. He was always alone. It was hard on him to trust, because he never thought of receiving and trusting other people's trust. What we have is the real thing. I know our 'serious' relationship may disgust you, but I am really happy that he is with me and I have no intention of giving him up."

The lady blushed. "No! I mean, I am really sorry. I know I had said impropriate words in our first meeting, and I want to apologize for it. I think you may as well be the perfect partner for Yao, so please forgive me. Honestly, I am in a religion with beliefs that stated same-sex relationships are sin, but I can see that my son really needs you. I saw how you were so supportive yesterday, how Yao turned completely to you for support, and how I just realized in his mind we, his parents, are his enemy. I… I think I should retrospect myself about this relationship, and my husband has given you two his blessings."

England smiled softly, sipping his tea. He could sense that the lady hasn't received the fact that China was his, but at least she was apologizing.

"I am thankful for his blessings and I accept your apologise, ma'am."

The lady smiled weakly and pulled out a paper bag from his canvas bag. England noticed the hospital logo on it.

"Thank you, Mr. Arthur. …. And I have another matter I want to speak to you about. We just know that Yao volunteered to take the test for transplant compatibility this morning. We couldn't believe it at first, because from his outburst, it was clear we weren't his family anymore in his mind. But he still took the test, and frankly, we are embarrassed. And sad. What have we done?"

England watched as the older woman started to cry softly. He could only offer his handkerchief, but the lady politely refused it.

"We don't know how to make it up to him. I am glad he turned into such a filial child. We felt genuinely ashamed. We don't know how to repay him. However, the result came out as negative, so he is not a suitable candidate for my ex-husband's donor."

England was surprised. He didn't expect that China wouldn't be compatible. He thought the probability was high. Sensing England's shock, the lady explained further.

"Yao gets most of his gene from me. His blood type is A, and my husband is O. So we cannot use his kidney. But please don't take it the wrong way. We are not asking him to come here to donate anything. We asked him here because… we do miss him. A lot. Funny how when you wake up one day, realizing you are so much older and wiser and suddenly you feel weaker and all you want to do is to gather your child. We did miss him. And now we just realized our mistakes. We understand it is really hard on Yao. We want to apologize, but we don't know how… or maybe he won't meet us anymore."

_You are damn right. _England held his breath. _It took him a year to get China to listen to him. _ But of course, he didn't speak it loud.

"…I think I can help you. I can try and persuade him to meet you again. Actually it was my idea to come here, since you called him. He wasn't really keen on coming back here."

"…That would be much appreciated. I am really thankful you stayed with him, Mr… Arthur. I see that you are good for my only real son and I hope… I hope you can love Yao the way me and my husband never did."

England nodded gently, sipping his tea, realizing that China's mother was a manipulative bitch, yet also painfully honest. And there he was, sitting on a café with his mother-in-law-to-be enjoying tea while thinking on how to persuade China to agree with meeting his parent again.

* * *

"So… you are asking me to meet them again, aru?"

China's face was pale, but he was more refreshed since he just taken a bath.

"Yes." England swallowed hard, giving Yao the brown paper bag with the hospital logo on it. "And the test result came back. It seemed you are not compatible with you father's blood type, so you are out from the possible donor list."

"Did she say anything, aru?" China stared blankly at the envelope. "Now that I am not entitled as a donor, she wants to meet me again? Are you sure?"

"Yao." England sat beside China on the bed and kissed his lover's cheek. "They are not as bad as you believe them to be. They want you to listen to their version of the story and well, sort things out."

China sighed. "Fine. When, aru?"

"…Sure, just like that? I was expecting more pouting and drama, Yao."

"I don't care anymore. Strangely, after crying my eyes off yesterday, I feel whole lot better now. Lighter and better. Who cares about them, I only want to get back soon and move your ero collection out from the closet so I can use them for my books, aru."

"Hey, no touching of my collection. I can give you closet next to the bedroom, Yao."

China smirked. "I only want the closet in our bedroom, silly. Put yours someplace else. Better yet, sell them! That is quite an extensive collection, you know."

"Of course they are! I have been collecting those bloody magazines since I have my own pocket money, Yao. You better not do anything to them—and by the way, since I bought the ticket of flight tomorrow night, we still have two days left here."

"… Two days, eh?" China bit his lips. "So I only have two days, hmmm…"

"… What do you have in mind?"

China stopped drying his hair. "… Some sort of… well… holiday, aru?"

England blushed. China, upon seeing his lover blushed, blushed even more furiously. Then England smiled gleefully, unabashed to show how happy he was. China started to flip around his hand, trying to make England stopped smiling.

To an outsider, they might looked like a crazy couple for acting in such a weird way, however, to England, what China meant by 'holiday' was clear. "… So we get _honeymoon_ before even _married_, eh? What is this? Your deepest wish or something?"

"Stupid, aru!" China jumped upon the British man and tried to silence him by hand, yet England licked his palm, and China moaned.

It was a perfect morning.

* * *

The meeting with his parent was scheduled in the same day, on the visiting hours allowed by the hospital. England stood before the door, and he gently squeezed China's hand.

"Good luck, be strong, listen. Give them a chance to explain. Be an adult."

"….Can't you enter with me, aru?"

"If I enter with you and accidentally call you parents 'mom and dad', there would be no wedding, I am sure. Because they would beat me till bloody pulp."

"…they are not that bad, aru."

"But this is it, Yao." England sighed. "I cannot enter the room because it's not my problem. This is between you and them, and I don't want to interfere further. I have done my job supporting you. I am sure if I enter the room, you would depend on me and you don't like being dependent, right? So get in and listen. Whatever they want to say, listen. If you are hurt, or angry, or sad, you can come to me. I am waiting here, outside. So go and settle the problem inside you. I love you, Yao."

"…" China blushed. "Fine, aru. … Thank you."

"You are welcome."

"…and Arthur?" China whispered. England tilted his head innocently. "I may not be able to say it back now, but once I come out from that room, I am sure I can say the l-word back, aru. Watch me."

"I am always watching, Yao. Always."

England watched as China's hand opened the door to his father's room.

* * *

This time, it really END.

Oh, please review. I am barring my soul and I need opinion of the complex family relationship. I think somehow Love is not as complex as family. Well, personal opinion aside, I think I make England too 'icky' (How do you say that?) as usual~

Well, I look forward upon hearing from you! XD

Thank you for reading.


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